Tonight hit the spot guys. Thanks so much. And thank you, Ang, for the talk.

Tonight Ang and I went to Kayaks for coffee and chit chat. More importantly though, we needed some bonding. Girl bonding, that is. After four years of Rosati and being with all girls just about all the time, you kind of start to take that girl time for granted. I don't anymore. I've missed our long, drawn-out conversations analyzing and overanalyzing everything from guys and school to life and love and whatever else is on our minds. I think girls just really get each other. There's something so similar in all of us that allows us to relate to each other in a way guys will never understand. But even more than that, you understand me as my friend. You know me and what I want and don't want - who I want to be. I love that even when I can't articulate a situation or quite how I feel, you just know because you know me. You can tell how I feel. And most of the time you've felt that way, too. Thanks for the advice, the stories, for listening and caring. I love ya Ang!

So the vanilla mocha latte was good but gave me a caffine headache that I'm still dealing with. Or maybe it's a tired headache telling me to go to sleep since it's 3:30am. Regardless, I want to finish about tonight because it was wonderful.

After Kayaks Ang and I met up with the guys that all finished with work around 11. We played Cranium at Zachs, just like on New Years. After losing terribly to the guys, we played again after Laura and Tom came by. It was all 7 of us again, but a very different dynamic than it had been that first night just a year and a half ago. Since then we've learned SO much about one another and grown to be inseparable. I love you guys so much. And someday we will beat you cocky SLUH boys. Just wait. Someday.

Then we talked. I love just talking. And listened to Dave and John Mayer and Jack Johnson. The best.

Ok, that's enough for now. I'm sleepy and have to work tomorrow. Thanks for a wonderful night. Sweet dreams.

Goodnight all. I just finished studying for my Theology test (although I'll probably try to study a little more tomorrow morning). Tonight was wonderful - I love my friends and BC so much. I'm enjoying all my classes and love running track again. I miss really being able to compete and I can't wait to get back to that peak of competition again. I know I'll get there; i just have to keep working hard every day at every practice. Our conference meet is this weeking in Iowa at Graceland University. We'll be competing on both Friday and Saturday and I'm really excited already about both days. The only other meet I competed in during this indoor season was an all-girls meet. It was a really fun meet, but I'm even more excited to travel this weekend with my whole team. Outdoor season lasts all year and although we travel just about every weekend, I know I'll love every minute of it because I'll be with such a spirited and dedicated group of people.

Running here, as good as it is, really makes me miss my old RK team. I miss Mr. May so much. He was such an amazing coach. He taught me so much, not just about running, but about setting goals, about working hard, about being a leader and becoming the kind of person I know God wants me to be. He taught me so much about life and pushed me every day to improve. His encouragement (although I didn't always view it as such) made such a difference and is something I sincerely miss now that I'm away. I am so thankful for having known him and for all he taught me through his words and example. Rosati is so lucky to have him and I can't wait to see another group of RK girls succeed just like they did during cross country as they qualified for state as a team - a goal we set years ago and worked towards throughout my whole high school carreer. I'm so proud of all of them for finally getting there. It's a wonderful testament to the type of complete coach that Mr. May is. Keep it up girls... I love and miss you and can't wait to watch you run during spring break!

The Perfect Love

Seeing as it's Valentine's Day and all, I just wanted to share the following excerpt with all of you (keep reading, it's at the bottom). As most of you already know, Valentine's Day is one of my favorite holidays - even though I've never had a boy on this day (as the case remains this year). There is so much love all around us all and it becomes so apparent on Valentine's Day. Seeing people show their love for each other - even just the love among friends - makes me so happy. I love seeing the love. So don't get caught up in the materialism often associated with this day; instead reach out and remind those around you (and especially those far away) just how much you love them. Now here's the little excerpt I wanted to share... enjoy...

Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone; to have a deep soul relationship with another; to be loved thoroughly and exclusively by them. But Gods says to Christians... NO! Not until you are satisfied and fulfilled and conten with loving and being loved by me alone. I love you my child, and until you discover that only in me is your satisfaction to be found, you will not be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you. You will never be united with me, exclusive of anyone or anything wlse, exclusive of any other desires or longings, unless you learn this lesson first.

I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and allow me to give you the most thrilling plan existing; one that you cannot even imagine! I want you to have the best; please allow me to bring it to you. You just keep watchingme and expecting great things.

Keep learning and listening to the things I tell you. You must wait. Do not be anxious. Don't worry. Don't keep looking off and away and up at me, or you'll miss what I have to show you. And then, when you are ready, I'll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than any you could have ever dreamed of. You see, until you are ready, and the one I have for you is ready - I am working this to have you both ready at the same time - and until you are both satisfied with me and the life I've prepared for you, you won't be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with me and to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty, perfection, and love that I offer oyu with myself.

Know that I love you. I am God Almighty. BELIEVE and be satisfied. Jesus, grant me the grace to desire you more and more each day, and to give you my heart, my body, and my soul for your Love...

(St. Anthony of Padua)

Happy Valentine's Day!

I Love Fall

Good day everybody. It's been a beautiful morning. I'm already finished with my only class of the day, and all my big tests are behind me, so I think I'll just enjoy today. I love fall and it's especially pretty here in Atchison. For those of you who don't know, my little middle of nowhere town is located right on the Missouri River, an hour north of KC. The bluffs along the river are so pretty. Leaves of red and yellow and orange make up the horizon now and are breathtaking against the crystal blue sky. My favorite part, though, is the crisp, cool air. The clear, sunny, chilly days are absolutely beautiful. They remind me of playing in the leaves and soft pine needles with the Edie and ZB and Joe and the rest of the TGP passe after raking our yards. We'd play for hours and look forward to the snow days we knew would eventually come when we'd all be back out together again playing in our yards. I was so lucky to have friends so close by.

Last night around 1am, when I was walking from our student union to St. Augustine, I felt the very first suggestion of winter. Within the few hours since I'd been at the union, it had turned bitterly cold and begun to mist. It was the sort of mist that you can barely feel, the kind that doesn't even leave you wet. Had it been just the slightest bit cooler, campus would have been dusted with snow this morning. That's something I can't wait to see. Our campus is absolutely beautiful - made up mainly of old red brick buildings. The architecture is incredible. The abbey, which sits on the hill just to the east of my dorm, is a beautiful old stone building. I can see the abbey from my window and love that I can always hear the bells. I love that most mornings its sunny enough at about 7:30am on my way to breakfast that Ferrel Hall, the oldest and most beautiful of buildings on campus glows in the sunshine. Seeing the sun hit the bricks of Ferrel always makes me smile, even that early in the morning. The big waffles in the caff also make me smile. All it takes is two minutes and my big golden waffle is cooked perfectly every time. A little butter and syrup and cold glass of milk along with that waffle starts my day in the right direction just about every day. This is my life now. And this place is my home now. That's exactly how it feels. Like home. I feel loved and comfortable and taken care of. I miss my family and wish sometimes that I could share all of this with them. I miss being told to stop studying and go to bed. I miss my dad taking the phone away from me and unintentionally intimidating all my friends that would call. I miss my dad being worried about me driving at night. I miss asking him about his day and telling him about mine. I miss his encouragement inall my endeavors, especially when it came to running. He was always such a inspiration. He made me understand that with confiedence, hard work and a genuine passion for whatever it was I was doing, I could achieve anything. He worked so hard and didn't mind doing that. It taught me to enjoy working hard as well. My mom is the same way. She works so hard and is the most generous person I've ever come across. Her unconditional love and support have given me such confidence and optimism about people and life in general. That is something I hope I'll be able to share with people someday as well. Although I miss all this, I feel so taken care of here, too. The friends I've been blessed to meet here are so supportive and make me want to be a better person. They make everyday fun. I got flowers yesterday. Daisies! And daisies are my favorite flower. He didn't even know that. Flowers just because we're friends. Such a simple thing, but it means so much and it's still making me smile a day later. I love smiling. And now I'm going to nap before I take on the rest of this beautiful fall day. Maybe I'll dream it snows. Make today wonderful. Be safe, have fun and live big until I see you soon. Love and miss y'all.

Peace

Peace. I love and miss you. Thanksgiving is coming up so soon - I can't wait to see y'all. I hope everybody's doing well, having fun, enjoying life. I pray you're finding friends who will love and take care of you enough while away from home. I hope you're starting to feel at least a little at home, wherever you are. Be safe, be real, be honest, be yourself and be open and unafraid of whatever life tosses your way today. Make it a good one. Goodnight for now. It's been a beautiful night in Kansas and I love that I can see the stars.

Stars

What an incredible place this is. Look at the stars sometimes - how beautiful. They're so bright and mysterious. I saw shooting stars tonight. I made a wish and thanked God for such a beautiful night. I was reminded just how small I am in this big world, but was comforted by the thought of that at the same time. As long as I remember to love and let myself be loved, the incredible size of this place isn't scary but exciting. I smiled and laughed and enjoyed the silence and laughter of friends. I was reminded just how good it feels to be held and hugged. I took a walk and built a fire. I layed on my back and looked at the stars while my toes got cold. The moon was especially bright, but not enough to dim the beauty and brightness of the stars. I thought of lying on Zach's lawn and looking at the stars/streetlights. I feel so blessed. goodnight everybody. May your tomorrow be as beautiful as tonight. May you realize that you are loved. May you remember to laugh and smile. Enjoy silence. Tell your friends you love them. Show them too. And most importantly, don't ever be afraid to love. Follow your heart, you'll be able to feel when it's right. Sleep tight, dream well.

Homecoming

Hello everybody. I'm sorry I've been so bad about updating this blog. There really is no excuse other than the fact that there aren't enough hours in the day. It's not that I'm all that busy - I'm only taking 15 hours and cross country is starting to wind down. It's just that when I'm free and not out and about, I have to force myself to use that time for studying. So I'll continue to write sporadically, and hopefully more often as soon as cross country is completely over in a week or so.

Life here is good. Last week was incredibly crazy and fun and only a little stressful. After intense studying for my world civ test on Monday and Tuesday, I think it went pretty well. It's been a week of late nights (usually 3 or 4am) and wonderful bonding. I feel like I meet someone new every day here and people here are incredible. Just a little about my week: It was homecoming week, so there was a lot going on. It was a week of pranks, bed stealing and dorm wars (and it only took me 3 or so days to get the stench of shaving cream out of my hair). The weekend consisted of a parade, football, hall decorations, halloween parties and our homecoming dance. It was all so much fun - the dance especially. Reliving our junior year halloween at rosati, some friends and I decided to dress up as a few Miss America states for the dance. I was Miss Missouri, of course. It worked out quite well because each of us are from different states. We ended up covering Kansas, Nebraska, Illinois, Indiana and Rhode Island. It was definitely different from any dance I've been to, especially considering the fact that everyone was in costume. The best part was quite possibly being flipped by Joey during a swing song. Dancing with the girls was a blast and I have to admit that I was quite impressed with how well the guys treated all of us. We have great guy friends. I felt like a princess by the end of the night. A visit from my dad made the weekend even better. He flew up for for the weekend and to watch my conference meet. It was so good to spend time and visit with him, even for just a few hours on Saturday and Sunday. I really am so lucky - I have the best dad ever!

All in all, a packed weekend - very very fun. I love that this place feels so much like home and that I've been blessed to meet many great friends already. They make it easy to want to be here because I love them so much already. But to you, my buds, I miss you all more than I can express and I honestly don't know what I'd do if I wasn't having fun here. It's so hard being away from all of you because you are the best friends of my life. I'm so thankful my for my BC friends because they make it easier to be away from you.

I love and miss you peeps. Keep being safe, having fun and studying hard and I'll see you in only about 3 weeks!