Beautiful

2005-06-12T03:51:00.000-07:00

Tonight hit the spot guys. Thanks so much. And thank you, Ang, for the talk.

Tonight Ang and I went to Kayaks for coffee and chit chat. More importantly though, we needed some bonding. Girl bonding, that is. After four years of Rosati and being with all girls just about all the time, you kind of start to take that girl time for granted. I don't anymore. I've missed our long, drawn-out conversations analyzing and overanalyzing everything from guys and school to life and love and whatever else is on our minds. I think girls just really get each other. There's something so similar in all of us that allows us to relate to each other in a way guys will never understand. But even more than that, you understand me as my friend. You know me and what I want and don't want - who I want to be. I love that even when I can't articulate a situation or quite how I feel, you just know because you know me. You can tell how I feel. And most of the time you've felt that way, too. Thanks for the advice, the stories, for listening and caring. I love ya Ang!

So the vanilla mocha latte was good but gave me a caffine headache that I'm still dealing with. Or maybe it's a tired headache telling me to go to sleep since it's 3:30am. Regardless, I want to finish about tonight because it was wonderful.

After Kayaks Ang and I met up with the guys that all finished with work around 11. We played Cranium at Zachs, just like on New Years. After losing terribly to the guys, we played again after Laura and Tom came by. It was all 7 of us again, but a very different dynamic than it had been that first night just a year and a half ago. Since then we've learned SO much about one another and grown to be inseparable. I love you guys so much. And someday we will beat you cocky SLUH boys. Just wait. Someday.

Then we talked. I love just talking. And listened to Dave and John Mayer and Jack Johnson. The best.

Ok, that's enough for now. I'm sleepy and have to work tomorrow. Thanks for a wonderful night. Sweet dreams.

2005-02-16T03:10:00.000-08:00

Goodnight all. I just finished studying for my Theology test (although I'll probably try to study a little more tomorrow morning). Tonight was wonderful - I love my friends and BC so much. I'm enjoying all my classes and love running track again. I miss really being able to compete and I can't wait to get back to that peak of competition again. I know I'll get there; i just have to keep working hard every day at every practice. Our conference meet is this weeking in Iowa at Graceland University. We'll be competing on both Friday and Saturday and I'm really excited already about both days. The only other meet I competed in during this indoor season was an all-girls meet. It was a really fun meet, but I'm even more excited to travel this weekend with my whole team. Outdoor season lasts all year and although we travel just about every weekend, I know I'll love every minute of it because I'll be with such a spirited and dedicated group of people.

Running here, as good as it is, really makes me miss my old RK team. I miss Mr. May so much. He was such an amazing coach. He taught me so much, not just about running, but about setting goals, about working hard, about being a leader and becoming the kind of person I know God wants me to be. He taught me so much about life and pushed me every day to improve. His encouragement (although I didn't always view it as such) made such a difference and is something I sincerely miss now that I'm away. I am so thankful for having known him and for all he taught me through his words and example. Rosati is so lucky to have him and I can't wait to see another group of RK girls succeed just like they did during cross country as they qualified for state as a team - a goal we set years ago and worked towards throughout my whole high school carreer. I'm so proud of all of them for finally getting there. It's a wonderful testament to the type of complete coach that Mr. May is. Keep it up girls... I love and miss you and can't wait to watch you run during spring break!

The Perfect Love

2005-02-15T20:55:00.000-08:00

Seeing as it's Valentine's Day and all, I just wanted to share the following excerpt with all of you (keep reading, it's at the bottom). As most of you already know, Valentine's Day is one of my favorite holidays - even though I've never had a boy on this day (as the case remains this year). There is so much love all around us all and it becomes so apparent on Valentine's Day. Seeing people show their love for each other - even just the love among friends - makes me so happy. I love seeing the love. So don't get caught up in the materialism often associated with this day; instead reach out and remind those around you (and especially those far away) just how much you love them. Now here's the little excerpt I wanted to share... enjoy...

Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone; to have a deep soul relationship with another; to be loved thoroughly and exclusively by them. But Gods says to Christians... NO! Not until you are satisfied and fulfilled and conten with loving and being loved by me alone. I love you my child, and until you discover that only in me is your satisfaction to be found, you will not be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you. You will never be united with me, exclusive of anyone or anything wlse, exclusive of any other desires or longings, unless you learn this lesson first.

I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and allow me to give you the most thrilling plan existing; one that you cannot even imagine! I want you to have the best; please allow me to bring it to you. You just keep watchingme and expecting great things.

Keep learning and listening to the things I tell you. You must wait. Do not be anxious. Don't worry. Don't keep looking off and away and up at me, or you'll miss what I have to show you. And then, when you are ready, I'll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than any you could have ever dreamed of. You see, until you are ready, and the one I have for you is ready - I am working this to have you both ready at the same time - and until you are both satisfied with me and the life I've prepared for you, you won't be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with me and to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty, perfection, and love that I offer oyu with myself.

Know that I love you. I am God Almighty. BELIEVE and be satisfied. Jesus, grant me the grace to desire you more and more each day, and to give you my heart, my body, and my soul for your Love...

(St. Anthony of Padua)

Happy Valentine's Day!

I Love Fall

2004-11-11T12:45:00.000-08:00

Good day everybody. It's been a beautiful morning. I'm already finished with my only class of the day, and all my big tests are behind me, so I think I'll just enjoy today. I love fall and it's especially pretty here in Atchison. For those of you who don't know, my little middle of nowhere town is located right on the Missouri River, an hour north of KC. The bluffs along the river are so pretty. Leaves of red and yellow and orange make up the horizon now and are breathtaking against the crystal blue sky. My favorite part, though, is the crisp, cool air. The clear, sunny, chilly days are absolutely beautiful. They remind me of playing in the leaves and soft pine needles with the Edie and ZB and Joe and the rest of the TGP passe after raking our yards. We'd play for hours and look forward to the snow days we knew would eventually come when we'd all be back out together again playing in our yards. I was so lucky to have friends so close by.

Last night around 1am, when I was walking from our student union to St. Augustine, I felt the very first suggestion of winter. Within the few hours since I'd been at the union, it had turned bitterly cold and begun to mist. It was the sort of mist that you can barely feel, the kind that doesn't even leave you wet. Had it been just the slightest bit cooler, campus would have been dusted with snow this morning. That's something I can't wait to see. Our campus is absolutely beautiful - made up mainly of old red brick buildings. The architecture is incredible. The abbey, which sits on the hill just to the east of my dorm, is a beautiful old stone building. I can see the abbey from my window and love that I can always hear the bells. I love that most mornings its sunny enough at about 7:30am on my way to breakfast that Ferrel Hall, the oldest and most beautiful of buildings on campus glows in the sunshine. Seeing the sun hit the bricks of Ferrel always makes me smile, even that early in the morning. The big waffles in the caff also make me smile. All it takes is two minutes and my big golden waffle is cooked perfectly every time. A little butter and syrup and cold glass of milk along with that waffle starts my day in the right direction just about every day. This is my life now. And this place is my home now. That's exactly how it feels. Like home. I feel loved and comfortable and taken care of. I miss my family and wish sometimes that I could share all of this with them. I miss being told to stop studying and go to bed. I miss my dad taking the phone away from me and unintentionally intimidating all my friends that would call. I miss my dad being worried about me driving at night. I miss asking him about his day and telling him about mine. I miss his encouragement inall my endeavors, especially when it came to running. He was always such a inspiration. He made me understand that with confiedence, hard work and a genuine passion for whatever it was I was doing, I could achieve anything. He worked so hard and didn't mind doing that. It taught me to enjoy working hard as well. My mom is the same way. She works so hard and is the most generous person I've ever come across. Her unconditional love and support have given me such confidence and optimism about people and life in general. That is something I hope I'll be able to share with people someday as well. Although I miss all this, I feel so taken care of here, too. The friends I've been blessed to meet here are so supportive and make me want to be a better person. They make everyday fun. I got flowers yesterday. Daisies! And daisies are my favorite flower. He didn't even know that. Flowers just because we're friends. Such a simple thing, but it means so much and it's still making me smile a day later. I love smiling. And now I'm going to nap before I take on the rest of this beautiful fall day. Maybe I'll dream it snows. Make today wonderful. Be safe, have fun and live big until I see you soon. Love and miss y'all.

Peace

2004-11-10T02:18:00.000-08:00

Peace. I love and miss you. Thanksgiving is coming up so soon - I can't wait to see y'all. I hope everybody's doing well, having fun, enjoying life. I pray you're finding friends who will love and take care of you enough while away from home. I hope you're starting to feel at least a little at home, wherever you are. Be safe, be real, be honest, be yourself and be open and unafraid of whatever life tosses your way today. Make it a good one. Goodnight for now. It's been a beautiful night in Kansas and I love that I can see the stars.

Stars

2004-11-07T05:20:00.000-08:00

What an incredible place this is. Look at the stars sometimes - how beautiful. They're so bright and mysterious. I saw shooting stars tonight. I made a wish and thanked God for such a beautiful night. I was reminded just how small I am in this big world, but was comforted by the thought of that at the same time. As long as I remember to love and let myself be loved, the incredible size of this place isn't scary but exciting. I smiled and laughed and enjoyed the silence and laughter of friends. I was reminded just how good it feels to be held and hugged. I took a walk and built a fire. I layed on my back and looked at the stars while my toes got cold. The moon was especially bright, but not enough to dim the beauty and brightness of the stars. I thought of lying on Zach's lawn and looking at the stars/streetlights. I feel so blessed. goodnight everybody. May your tomorrow be as beautiful as tonight. May you realize that you are loved. May you remember to laugh and smile. Enjoy silence. Tell your friends you love them. Show them too. And most importantly, don't ever be afraid to love. Follow your heart, you'll be able to feel when it's right. Sleep tight, dream well.

Homecoming

2004-10-29T14:50:00.000-07:00

Hello everybody. I'm sorry I've been so bad about updating this blog. There really is no excuse other than the fact that there aren't enough hours in the day. It's not that I'm all that busy - I'm only taking 15 hours and cross country is starting to wind down. It's just that when I'm free and not out and about, I have to force myself to use that time for studying. So I'll continue to write sporadically, and hopefully more often as soon as cross country is completely over in a week or so.

Life here is good. Last week was incredibly crazy and fun and only a little stressful. After intense studying for my world civ test on Monday and Tuesday, I think it went pretty well. It's been a week of late nights (usually 3 or 4am) and wonderful bonding. I feel like I meet someone new every day here and people here are incredible. Just a little about my week: It was homecoming week, so there was a lot going on. It was a week of pranks, bed stealing and dorm wars (and it only took me 3 or so days to get the stench of shaving cream out of my hair). The weekend consisted of a parade, football, hall decorations, halloween parties and our homecoming dance. It was all so much fun - the dance especially. Reliving our junior year halloween at rosati, some friends and I decided to dress up as a few Miss America states for the dance. I was Miss Missouri, of course. It worked out quite well because each of us are from different states. We ended up covering Kansas, Nebraska, Illinois, Indiana and Rhode Island. It was definitely different from any dance I've been to, especially considering the fact that everyone was in costume. The best part was quite possibly being flipped by Joey during a swing song. Dancing with the girls was a blast and I have to admit that I was quite impressed with how well the guys treated all of us. We have great guy friends. I felt like a princess by the end of the night. A visit from my dad made the weekend even better. He flew up for for the weekend and to watch my conference meet. It was so good to spend time and visit with him, even for just a few hours on Saturday and Sunday. I really am so lucky - I have the best dad ever!

All in all, a packed weekend - very very fun. I love that this place feels so much like home and that I've been blessed to meet many great friends already. They make it easy to want to be here because I love them so much already. But to you, my buds, I miss you all more than I can express and I honestly don't know what I'd do if I wasn't having fun here. It's so hard being away from all of you because you are the best friends of my life. I'm so thankful my for my BC friends because they make it easier to be away from you.

I love and miss you peeps. Keep being safe, having fun and studying hard and I'll see you in only about 3 weeks!

My Friend

2004-10-25T20:49:00.000-07:00

I'll be here for as long as you need me

Right here needing you too.

We'll share

and love

and live

and show

and hope

and dream

and one day we'll know...

Thank you for glances.

Thank you for hugs.

Thank you for smiles.

Thank you for laughs.

Thank you for confidence,

for your example,

for being you

and making me me.

Thank you for love

and showing me how.

I can't wait to see.

Remember.

I'll be here always when you need me

Needing you too.

And loving you always.

Because You Loved Me

2004-10-25T13:10:00.000-07:00

Because You Loved Me

Written by D.Warren

For all those times you stood by me

For all the truth that you made me see

For all the joy you brought to my life

For all the wrong that you made right

For every dream you made come true

For all the love I found in you

I'll be forever thankful baby

You're the one who held me up

Never let me fall

You're the one who saw me through - through it all

You were my strength when I was weak

You were my voice when I couldn't speak

You were my eyes when I couldn't see

You saw the best there was in me

Lifted me up when I couldn't reach

You gave me faith 'cause you believed

I'm everything I am

Because you loved me

You gave me wings and made me fly

You touched my hand I could touch the sky

I lost my faith, you gave it back to me

You said no star was out of reach

You stood by me and I stood tall

I had your love I had it all

I'm grateful for each day you gave me

Maybe I don't know that much

But I know this much is true

I was blessed because I was loved by you

You were my strength when I was weak

You were my voice when I couldn't speak

You were my eyes when I couldn't see

You saw the best there was in me

Lifted me up when I couldn't reach

You gave me faith 'cause you believed

I'm everything I am

Because you loved me

You were always there for me

The tender wind that carried me

A light in the dark shining your love into my life

You've been my inspiration

Through the lies you were the truth

My world is a better place because of you

You were my strength when I was weak

You were my voice when I couldn't speak

You were my eyes when I couldn't see

You saw the best there was in me

Lifted me up when I couldn't reach

You gave me faith 'cause you believed

I'm everything I am

Because you loved me

You were my strength when I was weak

You were my voice when I couldn't speak

You were my eyes when I couldn't see

You saw the best there was in me

Lifted me up when I couldn't reach

You gave me faith 'cause you believed

I'm everything I am

Because you loved me

I'm everything I am

Because you loved me

(Celine Dion)

New Deep

2004-10-13T09:41:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm officially on another major John Mayer kick. I've got Nicole seriously hooked now, too. John plays almost constantly here in room 112 and I'm starting to feel a little bit bad for our neighbors, although they say they don't mind. You can often hear John's sweet sweet voice and soothing guitar all the way down the hall. And get this, I have my good bud Bobby learning one of my absolute favorite John songs on his guitar... he started yesterday and was already pretty darn good by last night. Thanks Bobby. Anyway, here are some more of John's wonderful words:

New Deep

I’m so alive
I’m so enlightened
I can barely survive
A night in my mind
I’ve got a plan
I’m gonna find out just how boring I am
And have a good time

Cause ever since I’ve tried
Trying not to find
Every little meaning in my life
It’s been fine,
I’ve been cool
With my new golden rule

Numb is the new deep
Done with the old me
And talk is the same cheap it's been

Is there a God?
Why is he waiting?
Don't you think of it odd
When he knows my address
And look at the stars
Don’t it remind you just how feeble we are?
Well it used to, I guess

Cause ever since I’ve tried
Trying not to find
Every little meaning in my life
It’s been fine, I’ve been cool
With my new golden rule

Numb is the new deep
Done with the old me
And talk is the same cheap it's been

I'm a new man
I wear a new cologne
And you wouldn’t know me
If your eyes were closed
I know what you’ll say
‘This won't last longer than the rest of the day’
But you’re wrong this time
You’re wrong

Numb is the new deep
Done with the one me
I’m over the analyzing
Tonight

Stop trying to figure it out

Deep will only bring you down
You know, I used to be the backporch poet
With a book of rhymes always
Open, knowing all the time,I’m probably
Never gonna find the perfect rhyme
For 'heavier things'
-John Mayer

Back to You

2004-10-12T02:43:00.000-07:00

Back To You is one of my favorite John Mayer songs and since I know how much all of you love this genius of a musician, I thought I'd share some of his wonderful words with you. It's incredible how music and a person's way with words can help to express emotions that often can't be articulated any other way.

Back to You

Back to you
It always comes around
Back to you
I tried to forget you
I tried to stay away
But it's too late

Over you
I'm never over
Over you
Something about you
It's just the way you move
The way you move me

I'm so good at forgetting
And I quit every game I play
But forgive me, love
I can't turn and walk away

Back to you
It always comes around
Back to you
I walk with your shadow
I'm sleeping in my bed
With your silhouette

Should have smiled in that picture
If it's the last that I'll see of you
It's the least that you
Could not do

Leave the light on
I'll never give up on you
Leave the light on
For me too

Back to me
I know that it comes
Back to me
Doesn't it scare you
Your will is not as strong
As it used to be
-John Mayer

Never be afraid to love. It's the little everyday acts of love that make life worth living. They are the best gift in the world; they make life fun and exciting and truely satisfying. Share your heart with people. Actually show people you love them, it's not enough just to say it. Actions always speak louder than words. These little actions have amazing power. They can change peoples' lives, make their day, inspire and motivate them to do incredible things. They have the power to create important change. Love gives people the confidence to confront whatever challenges they face. It gives people the confidence to be themselves. It even helps us challenge ourselves to become better. Always be open and honest about love... work at it... when it starts getting hard to love or when you forget to show people how much you do, concentrate and work harder. Love is too precious to let slip away.

To all of you who have loved me and given me the confidence I often need, thank you.

My Weekend

2004-10-04T17:56:00.000-07:00

Hello all. Let me tell you about my weekend. It was a wonderful weekend. Let's back up to Thursday night...Thursday had been a pretty down day for me although I couldn't (and still can't) put my finger on exactly why. But after watching the debates, a floor meeting at 10, and a few crazy hours of hall decorating I felt much better. So around 12:30 a few of us memorial girls decided that we were hungry. Now, when you're hungry in Atchison at 12:30 am, you have about 3 options: 1) whatever you have stashed in your room, 2) the 24hr McDonalds and 3) Daylight Donuts. Daylight Donuts is this awesome little donut place (not nearly as good as donut house, no worries) and it opens around 1:30am every morning. So Kendell, Jill, Morgan and I decided to head over there (dispite the fact that most of us had 8 o'clocks on Friday). So after 2 glasses of milk, two oreo donuts and plenty of entertaining boy talk it was close to 2am and we were crashing fast. Anyway, it was a late night and an early morning. Friday was pretty good and the highlight was definitely being able to run. I begged and coach agreed to let me run. It hurt but felt so good at the same time. My time (I can't believe I'm posting this for the world to see, but oh well) was as slow as I was running my freshman year of high school...that's bad. But as I just said, I'm ok with all that and so happy to be able to run. I have four more years to get back to where I was and track, too. The meet was a bit depressing for everyone, especially considering about half our team is injurred right now. Coach even bought a new lucky hat hoping that would help...poor guy. Anyway, I've decided that even if we aren't going to be able to have as awesome a year as they had last season, we at least need to make this fun...and we will! All my xc buds are awesome and I'm really looking forward to our last month or so together.

Alright, so the 2 hour ride back to campus was quite enjoyable (we all piled into one van instead of the usual two, so we had even more bonding than usual). And the last hour or so was spent sleeping. Call me pathetic, but after getting back to my room, all I wanted to do was sleep. So, although it was only 10:30 on a Friday night...I decided to call it a night. I had a lovely conversation with Tim and Tony and got the laugh of my life out of Tony's duct tape incident. And don't ask, but I still have a bruise from that conversation, lol. Then I watched several episodes of Friends and then visited Joan and Maria before falling asleep around 1:30. So all in all, a good Friday.

Then my family came on Saturday!! I spent the morning doing laundry and cleaning...and I know it's sad, but I actually like cleaning. At 2 Nicole and I went to the football game which was mighty fun and left after half time to meet my parents back at my room. They go here around 4 and we had a pleasant evening of BBQ and a concert. Then my parents headed back to their hotel and Christina and I headed out to give her a taste of college life. There wasn't too much going on, being family weekend and all, but I just loved spending time with her. We visited some friends and eventually ended up in Bobby's room where he entertained us with his guitar (and plenty of john mayer upon request). Then it was back to my room as Christina and I called it a night. Oh yeah, first I realized I had lost my keys at some point throughout the night...found them...and then went to bed.

We met my parents for mass the next morning at the abbey. It was beautiful. Then to brunch, a trip to Rushville, Octoberfest for some kettle corn and back to campus. Then they were off. Although it was less than a 24 hour visit, it was so good to see them. I miss them already. And let's just say I had several friends who were very happy to meet Christina.

I spent the rest of the afternoon watching football, watching movies and putting off my studying for as long as possible (which worked out quite well). It ended up being yet another late night, but somehow I'm able to function on much less sleep than would be expected.

Okeedok, that's all for now because I just got back from practice (aka. swimming) and am freezing! Time for a nice hot shower. You all have a great evening. Be safe, have fun and study hard!

And GO CARDINALS!!!

Thank you...

2004-10-01T13:20:00.000-07:00

This is just a short little blog to say thanks to all of you who've made me smile these past few days. You are truly wonderful. You guys are the best and I'm so blessed to know you.

I'm feeling so much right now...loving school and missing home; missing the people really. Zach, it feels like forever. I wish I could let you know just how much I can't wait to see you. And I mean it when I say that I'd visit Iowa for you over John anyday.

I wake up every day excited here because there are so many amazing people to meet and there's always so much to do. I love college and my new friends make every day so much fun. BC is absolutely amazing and I can't believe it fits me so well. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. But I also wake up every day knowing that no matter where I go or who I meet, no one will ever be able to beat you guys. You are the best friends of my life and I am me today because of you. You keep me going more than you know. And it's crazy, but even now that we're so far away, I feel as close to you as ever.

And now that we're so far away, I love getting to know you more and more each day...you're lack of secrets, what worries you, what makes you tick...what we should and shouldn't try to figure out and when. It's refreshing to have someone to figure life out with - even though I know it's not always something to be figured out. Sometimes you just have to live it. How can it be that being so far away makes us closer? I guess life doesn't always have to make sense.

Okay, I have to get moving before this day gets away from me. Be safe, have fun and study hard everybody. Make it a good one!

AHHHH

2004-09-29T22:17:00.000-07:00

This sucks. And I hate that word, but this really does. All I want to do is run and it's like my body is just falling apart. I did my best to get through the stress fracture last spring, and I did. And then it was fine. I stayed off of it until the end of June. And it was fine. Then I trained the rest of the summer and started my season and, again, was fine. Then it started getting bad. I took my week off last week to do low-impact training like the doc said. So it should be better now. Instead it's worse and it's killing me not to run. Not only that, but I feel like i'm completely letting my team down. They made it to nationals last year and we should be completely capable of doing so again. All I want to do is help my team get there. I don't know what my problem is. I did my time last spring. I didn't run at districts so that I'd be better by now. This is just so frustrating. I tell myself that this has to be happening for a reason, but it's just so hard to believe. I love running and I love competing and I hate that now I can't do either now. I can run through the pain, and I would if I thought that would mean I'd be ok by regionals. But now conference and regionals and nationals are all just a month away - and I have a swollen ankle. I don't get it. At the beginning of this season, getting back into the mental part of competing was the hard part. Now that I'm there, I can't do the physical part. All I want is a few solid months to run. I know I'll get over this and I know I'll run again, it's just so hard right now. I miss my team and I miss doing my share of all the hard practices. Right now it seems like I'll never get back to the point I was at last fall, but I have to. I'm detirmined to. And I'm going to do whatever it takes to get to that point. I just hope that point comes sooner rather than later. Really I'm fine, I just needed to vent...and thanks for listening.

My Turn

2004-09-27T22:36:00.000-07:00

Hmm, where to start. I like to think I'm not much of a follower, but today I am. Since I started reading my dear friends' blogs only a short week or so ago, they have made me smile and cry and laugh and feel not quite so far away. So, I have decided that I want in on the action as well. Thank you all for sharing you little thoughts and big ideas, and I hope that mine will entertain you even half as much as yours have entertained me. Here goes:

I'm going to start by saying that I feel so blessed. I really feel like the luckiest person in the world. I have the most amazing friends anyone could ask for and I love them more than I can explain. I guess that may become one of my unofficial goals via this blog - to let my friends know just how much they mean to me. And other than that, you all will hear about the good and bad little moments of my day here; and from time to time,unfortunately for you, this blog will probably serve as my pillow to punch when I'm frustrated. Hopefully for all of us, that won't be all too often.

First off, I have to tell you about my weekend. Really, it was absolutely wonderful and couldn't have been much better (unless my Zach and Tom and Katie had been there). It made the list as one of the best moments of my life. Here's how it all went down:

On Saturday night, after dinner with my parents and dropping Christina at her first Homecoming, I went to see 2 of my bestest buds at SLU. Tim and Tony met me to walk me from my car to the dorm and it felt so good to hug those two. Then I opened Tony's door and Laura was sitting inside!!! My Laura! My first friend at RK who is still putting up with me five years later! I think I may have strangled her when I hugged her. My hands were still shaking like 5 minutes later. Then when I could breathe again, we went to see Tim's room. As I walked out Tony's door Ang walked around the corner. (And now I'm crying because I miss you guys so much!) Anyway, everybody tells me I just looked at her for a sec and walked the other way. I think I was in shock for a few seconds. Then maybe I shrieked (my apologies to the residents of Notre Dame hall) - and I hugged her. Seeing everybody there was incredible. I wasn't supposed to see Ang until Thanksgiving and I don't think I could have made it that long. And to Tony for making her come home, you are absolutely the best. I have the best friends in the world and I can't believe I found them in high school.

We had a great night, more about that later. I'm still smiling about it. Tim and Tony, you have very nice friends. They're so lucky to have you guys all the time.

That's all for now, folks. Take care.

Art

2004-09-27T13:23:00.000-07:00

Today has been a pretty good day. My art class was interesting and the quizzes went pretty well. For those of you who don't know, I love art. I enjoy all kinds of art, but the painting and the drawing the sculpture part of art is absolutely amazing to me. I love to draw, but don't often have the time. Or maybe it's that I don't take the time. I should. Now when I say I love to draw, it in no way means I'm good at it. I just like to. Watercolor is probably my next favorite thing to do. And to look at as well. I could spend all day in an art museum or just watching somebody draw or paint. I know that makes me even more of a nerd, but those of you who know me know that I'm ok with that. Sadly, in high school, our art classes weren't exactly the best (except that art class I had with Emmy either freshman or sophomore year - when we talked through the whole thing). Art has always been a part of my life. My dad's an amazing artist, though he'll probably never admit to that. It's his life now, even though he doesn't get to do as much of the creative work for it anymore. He says that he feels like he's never really had to work a day in his life. I think that's because he genuinely loves what he does. And I think that's amazing. To be able to take something you're good at and you love and make it your career, that's something to be proud of. And to be able to use your talents to make such a difference for so many people - that's cool. In fact, I think that's what most people strive for all throughout their life when it comes to work. And that's something I think about on a daily basis. What am I supposed to be doing with my life? I know I'm on this earth for a reason and I can't wait to figure out what that is. For right now, I just want to live my life the best way I know how - by acting the way I feel. If I do that, hopefully people will be able to see the real me; who I am and the things that are most important to me. But someday, hopefully soon, I want to figure how I can make a different in this world. It doesn't have to be a big difference, or even anything noticable, just something that makes life better for people. I want to know what God put me here to do, and hopefully I'll figure that out soon. I want to know so that I can get started. One of my biggest fears is that I'll never figure that out. But somewhere I know that's impossible - I think that as long as I'm searching to figure it out, I eventually will. I'm torn sometimes between doing what I want to do and what I should do. Does it make any sense to think that maybe what I should do actually is what I want to do? I'm still working to figure that one out. I don't know what it is that I'm good at and figuring out a career isn't hard because I haven't found something I like, but I've found so much that I like. For now, I think I know how I need to live my life when it comes to relationships and dealing with people - and I'll figure the work part out later I guess. Someone told me once that true happiness comes from serving others. Fulfillment, that is. Sharing with other people - whatever it may be (ex. food, knowledge, support, love) - is what we live for. We can't survive on own. Service to others, on any level, when given genuinely, can make such a difference. That is the difference I think this world needs. It needs to see that people still actually do love and care about each other. Success and status isn't everything. Popularity gets you nowhere in the long run. Our world has gotten really crazy lately. People have gotten crazy, too. I don't understand, at all, how it is that leaders think bombing the heck out of each other is going to fix anything. I'm not going political right now, because I don't want Laura to have a fit and I'll save that all for a later blog, but I do want to say that I know there's got to be a better way of dealing with each other out there. Cultures and their people are very different, I get that, but I also think that simply because we're all human, we're a lot alike. Tell me if I'm wrong here, but don't most people simply want to be able to live a little - without fear, without hunger? I just think that regardless of where people are, their basic goals are generally the same. People want to be free and safe and able to support their families. They want their kids to grow up safe and happy. That's all. And that sounds pretty fair to me. Mother Teresa wrote: "Prayer in action is love, and love in action is service." She goes on later to say that "the fruit of service is peace". Just something to think about.

And now I need to get to my sociology reading, so I'm going to leave you for now. This is just another little piece from her book that I thought you'd enjoy:

TAKE TIME TO THINK
TAKE TIME TO PRAY
TAKE TIME TO LAUGH

IT IS THE SOURCE OF POWER
IT IS THE GREATEST POWER ON EARTH
IT IS THE MUSIC OF THE SOUL

TAKE TIME TO PLAY
TAKE TIME TO LOVE AND BE LOVED
TAKE TIME TO GIVE

IT IS THE SECRET OF PERPETUAL YOUTH
IT IS GOD'S GIVEN PRIVILEGE
IT IS TOO SHORT A DAY TO BE SELFISH

TAKE TIME TO READ
TAKE TIME TO BE FRIENDLY
TAKE TIME TO WORK

IT IS THE FOUNTAIN OF WISDOM
IT IS THE ROAD TO HAPPINESS
IT IS THE PRICE OF SUCCESS

TAKE TIME TO DO CHARITY
IT IS THE KEY TO HEAVEN